It Only Gets Better… Right?

It’s been approximately 4 months since I last dabbled my fingers on this keyboard. Oh, how foolish that version of me was, to think that the world would reanimate; to return to a muddled sense of normalcy, but normalcy nevertheless. Excuse me for the rustiness, and overall lack of motivation. It’s been a long summer.

The U.S. economy is flatlining, with small businesses nationwide being forced to shut down temporarily, or permanently. Those $600 paychecks can only last for so long. Either way you peg it, we’re fucked. This paragraph is probably out of place in this particular blog post, but I’ll just leave it in for shits and giggles.

The #BlackLivesMatter movement has taken off in earnest, as we continuously see televised acts of police brutality make the waves on various social media outlets. Most of the new footage is from the protests being held nationwide, with police forces brutalizing peaceful protesters with tear gas and rubber bullets. Disclaimer: I am ALL for #BLM, and the profound institutionalized racism seen sprinkled on pretty much every facet of American society, ranging from disenfranchised civilians fighting laws designed out of environmental racism, to an abhorrent amount of unjustified killings of African-Americans, outlines exactly why this movement is necessary.

For all of those that say #AllLivesMatter, go fuck yourselves. Pushing the #ALM narrative is exactly the dangerous thinking that aims to keep the white-washed patriarchy alive and running. The whole purpose of #ALM, #BlueLivesMatter, and any other fucking #Matter is to denounce #BlackLivesMatter as to make it seem derogatory against the citizens of the world. Pretty much, these other bullshit “movements” are feigned ignorance that ignorants uphold in order to see their racist ways of life go unscathed.

Here’s an experiment for you: observe the people that send out those purposeless hashtags. What do you notice? Did you see a skin color that wasn’t black? Did you notice a shitty haircut (probably the SuperCuts Karen special)? What about the classic $10 sunglasses they sell at rundown gas stations? Did you notice that they were middle-aged too? They probably have a Trump 2020 tweet on their page somewhere too. You know, just in case you had ANY doubt about their standing.

That is the demographic threatened by your right to a better future. And what do we say to these racist conservatives? Go fuck yourselves with a loooooooong dick, no lube.

Also, all this talk of police reform has these same individuals riled up, but they don’t really understand the reasoning behind it. Police reform is another objective of the protests taking place, with an emphasis on more extensive police training, less aggression towards the people it was designed to protect, and the banning of the use chokeholds by the men and women in uniform. Now why would you ever need to choke a person in handcuffs, or suffocate a singular person while they’re under control, or hand out a death sentence without trial, and without a legitimate threat to one’s life? (see: Alton Sterling, Oscar Grant, Michael Brown, Philando Castile, Eric Garner, George Floyd).

With George Floyd’s murder came a wave of unprecedented events, such as the call for accountability for all 4 officers involved, as well as riots and protests pushing for the arrests of police officers who have literally gotten away with murder. One such instance is the prominent case of the no-knock search warrant raid that ended with the tragic death of Breonna Taylor, an African American EMT, at the hands of 3 plains-clothed police officers. There is no reason why the people of America should live in fear of their own government, let alone the police force that answers to said government, especially in this age of technology, but yet here we are…

2020 is the poster child of radicalism. If one were to slip into a coma in December 2019, and wake up in July 2020, they would be wise to think YEARS have passed by. Change has been packed in tight like sardines, and we must embrace this important history. The age of pandemonium is here, and it brings with it a lovely splash of pandemic.

Speaking of, I truly don’t understand why there are legit dumbasses still walking around without a mask on (looking at you, Florida). As of press time, the global COVID-19 death toll is 635,416. Let me not even tell you how much of a behemoth the number of worldwide confirmed cases is.

We also got politicians as high-ranking as governors (Iowa’s Kim Reynolds, South Carolina’s Kevin McMaster, Florida’s Ron DeSantis, to name a few dickheads) making strides towards reopening schools. In what fucking world do you live in where allowing in-person tutelage, in a confined space, with a plethora of students, in this climate, is the best idea your brain trust can come up with? And when you think about the impeccable, empathetic, and downright competent leaders these governors look to guide them, (the likes of Donald Trump and Betsy DeVos), it’s not hard to see why the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Oh, and the antonym for each word that’s bolded out is what I really meant to say. My sarcasm is much better in person, I promise.

Let me level with you for a second, reader. I work in the service industry. More specifically, I work in the restaurant industry. I have to deal with many customers on a day-to-day basis, about 5 times a week, for 8+ hours. Many of the clientele are respecting of the guidelines set forth by the CDC (i.e. wearing a face mask, practicing social distancing, washing your hands, etc). Personally, I wash and sanitize my hands virtually every time I interact with cash and/or a customer’s debit card. My hands are so dried out by the end, they look like I slapped a chalkboard furiously for 2 hours.

Even before this all jumpstarted our Earth into a shitshow, a good portion of the denizens that frequented the establishment that I work at had a very strange habit of bad hygiene. Whether it was peeing and walking right out of the bathroom without washing hands, sneezing right into said hands/into the public air, or scratching one’s ass and then sniffing it (I seen you do that, Dirty Dan, you filthy fuck), bad hygiene is something that is all-too common. Introduce a killer virus into the mix, and you now have flatout calamity.

Regardless, mostly everyone has accustomed to the new norm, albeit begrudgingly.

However (and you’d be surprised by how often this happens), there are people who come in with no face mask whatsoever. There’s not even an attempt to cover the face, as they’ll walk in, enthusiastic as ever, even as our doors have signs that literally say “No Mask, No Entry!” When I tell them to please leave and re-enter with a face mask on, I get the wittiest replies that I will forever be grateful to receive:

“Haha you’re scared of a little corona?”

“You know damn well a face mask won’t do anything for you. CDC my ass.”

“I work at a hospital, and let me tell you buddy, we’re all fucked. If God wants you to die through the coronavirus, he’ll have his way.”

“I work at a hospital, and let me tell you buddy, we’re all fucked. If China wants you to die through the coronavirus, they’ll have their way.”

“The governor ain’t say that shit, stop the frontin’.” (I told them the governor hasn’t allowed dine-in for months now, and this couple didn’t want to believe me, even though the restaurant was a ghost town.)

“Come on dude, the mask is in the car! Just let me get my food and let me get out of here.”

“Oh boo-hoo, cry me a river. Is this how you treat a paying customer?”

Oh, and my favorite:

“You know that more people die from the flu every year than your made-up virus? Yeah pal, the mortality rate is so low, and personally, I think Governor Murphy is a fucking idiot for shutting down the state the way he did. Your loss, not mine.”

On that last one, the person in question also spent 5 minutes arguing that coronavirus was a “myth the liberals came up with in order to shut down corporate America in the most seamless fashion possible.” Shit you not, that was word-for-word what he said.

The biggest problem with our nation in terms of this pandemic is just how selfish our citizens are. The uncomfortably, universal mindset that “if it doesn’t happen to me, it doesn’t matter” is one that these people that refuse to wear a mask all have, and it’s literally sickening. Quit the fucking malfeasance and just be empathetic for once, you fucking cunts.

Not you, reader. You’re fucking awesome.

The time for change is now. Do your part, and help make this world an inhabitable one for our offspring.

Alright, alright. For our future children. I can see how saying offspring sounds like something out of “Alien”. You know, the movie with the xenomorphs.

Wear a mask. Go protest. Educate yourself. And fuck Trump with a loooooooong dick, no lube.

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Location Coming To You Live From East Bubbafuck, Africa Phone 1-800-IMSADAF Hours Expect a post every week or two, depending on how lazy I am at the time. If I'm drunk, expect a post the same day.
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